1. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor.....and you don't care.
2. When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room
together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.
3. You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you,
and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate
the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.
4. You spend an entire week wearing sweats.
5. Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking
bodily fluids on you.
6. Popsicles become a food staple.
7. Your favorite television show is a cartoon.
8. Peanut butter and jelly is eaten at least in one meal a day.
9. You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of where it is.
10. Your baby's pacifier falls on the floor and you give it back to her,
after you suck the dirt off of it because your too busy to wash it off.
11. Your kids make jokes about farting, burping, pooping, ect. and you
think it's funny.
12. You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts
to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!
13. Spit is your number one cleaning agent.
14. You're up each night until 10 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping,
washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving,
flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing
diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting,
clipping coupons, folding
clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing,
buckling, feeding (them, not you), PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike
riding, pushing trucks, cuddling
dolls, roller balding, basketball, football, catch, bubbles,
sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS
raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and
walking the dog.
You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to
the bathroom, and yet...you still managed to gain 10 pounds.
15. In your bathroom there is toothpaste on the light fixtures, water
all over the floor, a dog drinking out of the toilet and body hair
forming a union to protest unsafe working conditions.
16. You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.
17. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making rice crispies bars.
Things My Mother taught me
My mother taught me LOGIC
LIKE- "If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you cant go to the
store with me."
My mother taught me MEDICINE
LIKE- "If you dont stop crossing your eyes, theyre going to freeze
My mother taught me ESP
LIKE- "Put your sweater on; dont you think I know when youre
My mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE
Like- "Wheres your brother and dont talk with food in tour mouth. Now
My mother taught me HUMOR
Like- "When that lawnmower cur toes, dont come running to me."
My mother taught me CONSEQENCES
Like- "Youre grounded and this is what is best for you. Youll thank me
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