What is a Boy?

Between the innocence of babyhood and the dignity of manhood, we find a
delightful creature called a boy. Boys come in assorted sizes, weights and
colors, but all boys have the same creed: to enjoy every second of every
minute of every hour of every day and to protest with noise (their only
weapon) when their last minute is finished and the adult males pack them off
to bed at night.

Boys are found everywhere---on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on,
swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls
ignore them, older sisters and brothers tolerate them, adults ignore them, and
Heaven protects them.

A boy is Truth with dirt on his face. Beauty with a cut on its finger,
Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and Hope of the future with a frog in its

When you are busy a boy is an inconsiderate, bothersome, intruding jangle of
noise. When you want him to make an impression, his brain turns to jelly or
else he becomes a savage, sadistic, jungle creature bent on destroying the
world and himself with it.

A boy is a composite---he has the appetite of a horse, the digestion of a
sword swallower, the energy of a pocket-size atomic bomb, the curiosity of a
cat, the lungs of a dictator, the imagination of a Paul Bunyan, the shyness
of a violet, the audacity of a steel trap, the enthusiasm of a fire cracker,
and when he makes something he has five thumbs on each hand.

He likes ice cream, knives, saws, Christmas, comic books, the boy across the
street, woods, water (in its natural habitat), large animals, Dads, trains,
Saturday mornings and fire engines.

He is not much for Sunday school, company, school, books without pictures,
music lessons, neckties, barbers, girls, overcoats, adults, or bedtime.

None else is so early to rise or so late to supper. Nobody else gets so much
fun out of trees, dogs and breezes. Nobody else can cram in one pocket-a
rusty knife, a half eaten apple, three feet of string, an empty Bull Durham
sack, two gum drops, six cents, a sling shot, a chunk of unknown substance and
a genuine supersonic ring with a secret compartment.

A boy is a magical creature---you can lock him out of your kitchen, but you
can't lock him out of your heart. You can get him out of your study, but not
out of your mind.

Might as well give up---he is your captor, your jailer, your boss and your
master. A freckled-faced, pint-sized, cat-chasing bundle of noise.

When you come home at night with only the shattered pieces of your hopes and
dreams---he can mend them all like new with the two magic words----Hi MOM


What is a girl?

Little girls are the nicest things that happen to people. They are born with
a little bit of angel shine about them and though it wears thin sometimes,
there is always enough left to lasso your heart---even when they are sitting
in the mud, or crying temperamental tears, or parading up the street in
mother's best clothes.
A little girl can be sweeter (and badder) oftener than anyone else in the
world. She can jitter around and stomp, and make funny noises that frazzle
your nerves, yet just when you open your mouth, she stands there demure with
that special look in her eyes. A girl is innocence playing in the mud, Beauty
standing on its head, and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot.
Girls are available in five colors---black, white, red, yellow, or brown, yet
Mother Nature always manages to select your favorite color when you place your
order. They disprove the law of supply and demand--there are millions of
little girls, but each is as precious as rubies.
God borrows from many creatures to make a little girl. He uses the song of a
bird, the squeal of a pig, the stubbornness of a mule, the antics of a monkey,
the spryness of a grasshopper, the curiosity of a cat, the speed of a gazelle,
the slyness of a fox, the softness of a kitten, and to top it all off, He adds
the mysterious mind of a woman.
A little girl likes new shoes, party dresses, small animals, first grade,
noise makers, the girl nest door, dolls, make-believe, dancing lessons, ice
cream, kitchens, coloring books, make-up, cans of water, going visiting, tea
parties and one boy. Se doesn't care much for visitors, boys in general,
large dogs, hand-me-downs, straight chairs, vegetables, snow suits, or staying
in the front yard. She is loudest when you are thinking, the prettiest when
she has provoked you, the busiest at bed time, the quietest when you want to
show her off and the most flirtatious when she absolutely must not get the
best of you again.
Who else can cause you more grief, joy, irritation, satisfaction,
embarrassment, and genuine delight that this combination of Eve, Salome, and
Florence Nightengale? She can muss up your home, your hair, and your
dignity---spend your money, your time, and your temper---then just when your
patience is ready to crack, her sunshine peeks through and you've lost again.
Yes, she is a nerve-wracking nuisance, just a noisy bundle of mischief…but
just when your patience is ready to crack, her sunshine peeks through and
you've lost again.
Yes, she is a nerve-racking nuisance, just a noisy bundle of mischief. But
when your dreams tumble down and the whole world is a mess----when it seems
you are pretty much of a fool after all---she can make you a king when she
climbs on your knee and whispers.
"I love you best of all!"

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